Bliss

Omg someone give me a spot to ugly cry in

flowerais

this year will be wonderful. you will meet new people who will feel like sunlight. someone out there will be lucky enough to meet you. you will see breathtaking views. you will learn so much knowledge from your studies and gain so much wisdom. there will be bad days but you will heal and start again in the morning. you will discover what makes you happy. you will fill up journals with scribbles and messy drawings. you will feel low and make mistakes but they will help you become a stronger person. you will pick up new things that give your life meaning and you will pour your heart into it. you will find songs that speak to you more than anything else in the world. you will grow. this year is waiting for you and it’s beautiful.

Someone

Hey, I hope you’re doing well. Like frl. I hope you’re livin life to the fullest and making others smile. Kinda how you made me smile at one point lol. Sucks how things turned out between us. I think about you sometimes, but shit i think about a lot of things. Idk, sometimes I wish I could tell you to keep your head up when you’re feelin down and sometimes I wish I could be your friend and just yknow do friend things. But let’s be real, that never seemed possible. I was never great at having guy friends. It backfired on me a lot. There’s a lot of things I wish I could tell you just to get off my chest but I feel like I don’t have the right to. It’s really just not my place anymore. Just know I have good days and bad days, don’t we all. Today’s a lil sad but I’m sure it’ll get better. Idk whatever you’re doin… proud of ya 🙂

I’m just hella annoyed rn and don’t wanna be around anyone. I don’t wanna say anything because people did a lot for me to be here.

I was thinking about you last night. I know we didn’t talk as much as we use to when I was younger… I remember rushing to your room and jumping on your bed to tell you to come eat. I remember when you blew up swim floaties with me. I remember you playing with a bouncy ball that I thought was huge at the time. I remember a lot more than you might think. It almost feels like a dream now. Sometimes I question if it really happened. 

I also remember some scary stuff. Stuff that I wish I didn’t remember, stuff more-so into your adulthood. Stuff that I know didn’t represent who you were. Last night I prayed as if I was talking to you. I asked questions about you. Does heaven erase the disorders you once had on earth? Do you magically get fixed? Are you finally at peace? Are you genuinely happy? Do you remember what I remember? Whatever you’re doing up there… I pray you’re happy. 

You visited me in a dream once. You didn’t do much. I never told anyone about it. But you were there, and it was comforting. I don’t know if you were visiting me on purpose, but I hope you were. Yeah, I believe in visits, call me crazy. I know you have others to visit and I hope it’s cause you care about how they’re doing. I care about how you’re doing. I hope it’s well.